November 19th was the day we got to meet our beautiful son, Jude. He was our little Thanksgiving Turkey and our little Sweet Potato Pie, Ellie Rose, was ready to greet her brother with a slobbery Sophie the Giraffe (it's a teething toy...) and a handful of puffs.
It's been one of the greatest blessings in our life to be the parents of these two wonderful babies. It has also been one of our greatest challenges. Everyone always tells you that God only gives you what you are capable of handling. While I agree that I have been able to handle everything that has presented itself in my life, I cannot say I have handled them all with grace or gratitude. Between the 100 million dirty diapers, sleepless nights and Sweet Potato Pie getting RSV (the worst, really...) two days before Mr. Turkey landed Earthside, I would say we are...well....we are surviving. It is beautiful. It is memorable. It is also messy and hard.
If you have found yourself on the other end of "Grateful and Graceful" you know how it is. You tell yourself daily how you should appreciate these beautiful creatures that God has given to you because he knows you can handle it. You tell yourself that you should be smiling. You tell yourself to cherish the poo 'splosions (well that's what we call them) and the crying and the healing. Some call it the Baby Blues. Some call it Postpartum. Some refuse to acknowledge it.
My belly is still flappy...everything is still flappy. I'm healing but no one really can tell you what your body should be doing right now. Everyone has 20 opinions and pieces of advice on breastfeeding but only you know how nursing will work for you and your baby. No one wants to acknowledge what almost every mom goes through--all of these emotions. But I'll say it. I'll be that person that feels ok enough to shed some light on life post pregnancy.
It's hard. It's really hard. You are sad. You are angry for small reasons. You don't feel right. You are certain your body will never be the same. You are hard on yourself. It's ok. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. There is "Grace and Gratitude" down the road...maybe with the help of zoloft or prozac. And no one said you have to be that Instagram mom with the coffee and gratitude quotes. You can be the hot mess mom. Or the craft mom. Or the workout mom. Whatever mom you want to be, you will be the best mom in the whole wide world to your baby. Once you start to notice that there are baby smiles and finger grabs and the cutest sneezes you have ever seen you will be back! You're going to cry. It's ok. You will get better. It's ok that you weren't 100% immediately. You just have to make sure you know you aren't alone and that you might need help--and help is ok.